


One with the Force

by Sharaen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, Star Wars: The Old Republic
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-10-27
Packaged: 2017-12-30 14:18:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1019651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharaen/pseuds/Sharaen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As everything around Meetra fades away, she remembers her lost companions. She found them across the Galaxy, leaded them, showed them the ways of the Force, even when she was not sure she could use it anymore. And, as everything ends, she thinks about a certain flyboy, the one she loved once, long time ago.</p><p>SPOILER WARNING! Please, do not read if you haven't played the end of KOTOR2, do not want to be spoiled about "The Jedi Prisoner" story arc in SW-TOR, or  if you have not read the "Revan" novel by Drew Karpyshyn. This might contain spoilers for the three of them!</p>
            </blockquote>





	One with the Force

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> This is probably my first "serious" fic ever, as I usually write about my own characters and stories. In spite of being a full-licensed fangirl and having read fics for years, actually writing one is kind of new to me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Before you read anything else, I would like to warn you about my English (if you haven't already noticed). It is not my usual language, so I hope there won't be many mistakes, but if there are, feel free to tell me!
> 
> About this short one-shot... Well, when I finished reading "Revan" I thought that the story was great but there was something that really bugged me. I really missed the Jedi Exile's background. She is a very important part of the story but still I feel she is kind of... shallow. Especially when compared to Revan, even to Scourge, who is by far a more developed character than Meetra. I guess the author wasn't comfortable around her, with her not being his own character and all. So, even if the story stablishes her sex and name as canon, it says nothing about her relationships and companions in KOTOR 2. This is the main reason behind this fic. 
> 
> For those who haven't read the book, played KOTOR II or SW-TOR... please don't read this story if you don't want spoilers about KOTOR 2, "Revan" or the Old Republic MMORPG!
> 
> I went for the canon: LSM!Revan x Bastila (Revastila, as I like to call them), LSF!Exile "Meetra Surik". I don't know if the female Exile romance will be canon someday, but I assumed the game leaves little space to wonder, so this is my own take on it.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: All characters featured here belong to their respective owners. This is a fanfic and it's not made for profit. I'm only asking for feedback, not money ;p So please, please, feedback and let me know if I should continue writing fanfiction!

Her conscience was fading - slowly, but unrelentelessly.

But somehow, she was not afraid. There had been a time when slipping away had not been an option. When it had meant risking so many things - things that were not important now, not anymore. But before things were different. She just couldn't abandon Revan. She could not let him alone in his battle against the Emperor.

She had promised Bastila that she would send him back to his wife and son. She had promised him that she would fight by his side, just like old times. She had promised herself that she would bring down the Sith Empire, too. And she had also promised herself that she would be back after that, back to the Galaxy she knew, to those who were waiting for her. Meetra remembered their faces, their voices, their names, all too well. She remembered their words before she parted. How long had it been...?

 

\---

 

 

"Please, don't go, Master. We need you here.", Mical pleaded.

"There's no other way. I must find Revan. If there is a menace for the Galaxy, I must…"

"Haven't you done enough for the Galaxy already?", Mira asked. Despite her angry tone, Meetra knew she was worried on her behalf, too. She tried to explain, but someone else found the words before she was done searching for them.

"You still need to feel you've been redeemed", Visas spoke with her soft voice. "But you already are. You're not the Exile anymore. You defeated Traya, and Sion, and… my Master, too."

"These deeds don't atone for what I did at Malachor Five.", Meetra whispered.

"It was war, General", Bao-Dur spoke slowly.

"That war is already over!", Mira exclaimed.

"No, it's never", Bao-Dur replied. "But there is no need to compensate for it anymore."

"It is… difficult to explain", Meetra tried to make them understand, to make them see. "I just… I cannot come back. Not yet. There is no peace for me in returning to the Galaxy. I still struggle against my past, I am still the Jedi Exile inside. So I need to go. I need to find myself out there, and bring me back home, with you."

She looked at each of them, but carefully avoiding to make eye contact with him, the only one who had not spoken his mind yet. Even without looking in his direction, she knew he was standing casually near the corner, with his back against the wall and his arms folded across his chest. She could imagine his trademark mocking expression, all written over his face. She found it easy - painfully easy - to picture him in her mind. But, as usual, she just wouldn't be able to know what he was thinking, even after she had questioned Traya about his feelings. Did he really care? And, if so, did it matter at that point…? No, it probably didn't. She was leaving anyway, and she would travel alone.

"And there is an old friend that could be in danger out there.", Meetra continued, trying to convince her crew. "I owe him".

 _I must follow his path, as I have always done_ , she added, just to herself.

"Then allow us to come", Visas said. Mical nodded in agreement.

"I cannot. In this quest, I cannot take anyone I care about with me."

"Then what about me, angel?", Atton finally spoke, with a bitter smile. "Does it qualify for me to come?"

A shiver ran down Meetra's spine at the sound of his voice. There was no need for his irony, but that had always been his way of hiding. Was he implying that she didn't care about him? He should know better.

As she turned in his direction, Meetra guessed that she was probably as unreadable for him as he was for her.

"It doesn't", she said, daring to look him in the eye. "It doesn't", she repeated, knowing her voice was in the verge of cracking.

 _Because I *do* care for you, in many ways, some of them I didn't think possible._  The last words remained inside her. She could not tell him. 

"Damn.", Atton said, fighting to keep his smile in place. "and here I was looking forward to see my old boss again. You know, to tell him I'm a Jedi now, and all that stuff".

 

\---

 

The Exile smiled softly in her mind. How long had it been? Three hundred years? Her friends would probably be one with the Force now, as she should have been. Her life had been taken from her so abruptly that she couldn't even remember feeling pain. When Scourge's blade had emerged from her chest, she was already gone.

She wasn't surprised about his betrayal. He was Sith. And Meetra had been betrayed before. But she couldn't help thinking about Darth Traya's words. She had been reflecting on them over and over again, for many years of empty existance as a ghost. The Galaxy needed betrayal. For what, Meetra didn't know. It might make sense someday, in the future she would not see. But it was Revan's destiny, not hers.

 

"You should be one with the Force, finally at peace", he had said.

"No peace while you suffer", Meetra had answered. She had been sent twice to find him. To make sure he was safe - to assist him against the Dark Menace. Neither had been possible. Sharing his pain while he was imprisoned was the only thing left.

Now he was free, at last. And she was free, too. Her task had ended. Her time had come to fade away.

"Thank you, old friend. I will finish what we started", he promised to the empty air.

But she heard, and smiled.

Her mind was starting drifting away. She had been afraid of dying before, but not now. She had haunted the Sith prison for many years, but she was tired. She had endured Revan's pain outside his cell – that was the least she could do, knowing she had failed him in their battle against the Emperor.

 _I'm so sorry, Bastila_ , she thought. _I couldn't bring him back._

Would she forgive her? No - *had she* forgiven her? She needed to know, but she probably never would. Bastila was gone, as everyone Meetra had known. Was she still waiting for his long lost husband? Meetra closed her eyes and wondered if someone was waiting for her, too.  

Her conscience melted as she felt the Force around her, everywhere. At first, it was a faint sensation. It felt strange, yet familiar – it made her think about Peragus, when the Force had come back to her after being apart of it for many years. Meetra embraced the feeling and let it fulfill her.

It became stronger. Around her there were many lives, many presences, the existence itself, reaching to touch her. She felt welcomed. She belonged there, a part of the endless river of life that washed over her. While floating in her memories, she was stripped off her guilt and suffering, her pain was washed away, her worries left apart - until only Peace remained.

Yet she could feel something missing. It had been a part of her for many years, it would not go away easily. The longing – that silent longing for something, for someone. Could it be washed away, too? _There is no Emotion_ , she whispered to herself. _No more_.

But then she felt it, she felt *him*, the answer to her silent question. His voice was exactly as she remembered it. With her eyes closed, she could see that loopsided smile of his as he pronounced the words.

"Hey there, Meet. You have taken your time, haven't you?"

She smiled softly, feeling suddently complete, finally at peace. 

"Sorry to keep you waiting", she muttered as she reached for him.

Finally, she was home.


End file.
